Down and Out in California

Greetings from California.

I am out here for business, but I have lots of friends out on this coast. Unfortunately, I am holed up in my hotel room trying to get things done. I have work, homework, and NASA Academy work, all which needs to be done ASAP.

I am here until Wednesday night, at which point I am taking the red-eye back to the East Coast to participate in an all-day NASA Academy meeting.

I can't wait until things slow down, so I can breathe and have some fun and relax.

On the 24 February, we have made a commitment to go to our favorite game store, the Family Game Store in Savage Mill, Savage, MD. They have open gaming every Saturday night. Everyone is welcome, drop me a line if you can come, the more the merrier. If you can't... play a game in our honor.

Form damaging Function damaging Form

I have been working very hard on juggling quite a few flaming torches recently. I am planning on extinguishing one this weekend, but instead of working on that, I spend the whole day (at least 8 hours) working on something else.

Sorry for the vague description, but those who know, know what I am talking about. Those who don't, the concept is more important than the details.

Time sensitive thing B has become excessively complicated in the last week. It is politically charged and sucking my time away. The problem is that a couple days ago, the process to do B was changed, with out any consultation with the group who will implement B.

The change itself has its positives and negatives. I don't like it, but I don't completely disagree with it. The biggest problem is that the motivation behind the change is being perceived as a lack of trust in the volunteers who do B. The problem is exacerbated by the very short notice and lack of regard for the reaction of aforementioned volunteers.

Because I believe that B is needed, I agreed to help with the notification and convincing of the volunteers. Before I could do that, my words were vetted past several committees (once without my knowledge, agreement or participation) to the point that I questioned signing my name to the final e-mail. I did anyway.

Now, I am questioning if I should have stayed involved. I am stuck defending a decision I don't believe in and words I didn't write. Worst for me, I think that this might have damaged my reputation with this group. At this point, there isn't really a way for me to back out, at least not one that I am comfortable with.

In the last week so many things have been temporarily dropped so I could help out this one group. It is a problem.

Tomorrow... Rather, the rest of today... thing B is definitely going on the back burner. I must finish thing A before Monday.

Driving me crazy

What drives me crazy?

Many of those things I can't talk about here. The major difference between a blog and a journal/diary is that everything here is public. For some things I can bare my soul, but for others, I just can't. No complaining about work. No complaining about people. No venting.

There are some general things that I can talk about.

Today's topic is information. I get instantly peeved if I suspect people are withholding, restricting, or preventing my access to information. Other times I get frustrated by my inability to ingest the information fast enough. Information is potential. Information is power. Information is what allows us to evolve. If others are trying to keep me from access to information, they are trying to hold me back. I don't like it

Logically, I know that I can't know everything. I know that usually my lack of knowledge is my own fault, or an oversight, or some other non malicious reason... but I still get peeved.

There are lots of things that I can complain about, but I am beginning to discover that this may be one of the core things that affects my behavior. I don't know how to control it, but the first step is to acknowledge the problem.

I am Laura. I want to understand everything.

Back to the World

I made it back to work today. When you get sick, or go on vacation, or you move, or really anything that keeps you out of touch, you expect the world to pause and wait for you to return. I am often struck by the realization that time doesn't work the way my brain thinks it should. I get lost in my own little world of cats, television, space, and books, only to look up and discover that days, moths, and years have gone by and people have changed. Things have happened and I am out of touch. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever catch up. There are some worlds where I wonder if I would be welcomed back if I tried.